The holiday period can be difficult for some of us coping with our mental health because we are being told to be happy and go to social gatherings with our friends and families as we are sold the idea of Christmas is a time of happiness and positivity.

This is always the case in reality and it can be difficult coping with your mental health at Christmas due to social events, reminiscing about achievements during the year, or the stress and money worries of buying gifts and beating the festive shopping crowds.

For me, I get stressed about these things as I hate crowds, and this year it’s not been great money-wise. I’ve also lost two grandparents this year and achievement wise I have failed to achieve what I set out and it looks like I’m spending New Year’s Eve alone.

I’ve set myself a list and I still have to brave the shops and buy a few gifts, but I love seeing the faces of my loved ones when I surprise them. I treat people how I would like to be treated so I try my best to buy nice presents.

I’m taking my niece and nephew to see Santa at the garden centre next week. I usually take them on a train trip but I thought I’d do something different this year.

Since my Gran passed away in 2009, 10 years ago Christmas has never been the same for our family. This year coping with my mental health has been really difficult yet again and losing two grandparents this year is making me reminisce more about the family Christmases we used to have. I would love to find some time to visit the graves, but it’s a 4-hour trek.

I never achieved the list I made earlier this year, but I guess there’s always next year, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned this year it’s to stop rushing things. I guess I do this when I’m going on a racing thoughts tandem that leads to me overspending and often upsetting loved ones because they don’t have the money or time to keep up with my plans.

I’m going to find New Years’s Eve hard as for the first time in years I spent New Year’s eve out with a very good mate, however that won’t be happening this year and I will probably be celebrating it alone in my parent house in my room.

If you find yourself struggling during the festive period don’t put any pressure on yourself to be happy and fit in. If you
aren’t that’s ok and you aren’t alone. Most of all be kind to
yourself and never forget nothing is more important than your health.

I’m lacking achievements in 2019 and we are weeks away from ending what has been yet another difficult year.

From a personal perspective, I’ve had to deal with writing off my car, losing two grandparents, another mental health assessment, attending an ESA assessment, and another run-in with the law, which was yet again caused by mixing with the wrong people.

I feel like I’m lacking achievements in 2019 and I’m making a last-minute dash to sort out my blog content, post more regularly on both blogs, and get my yellow Prajead in muay Thai.

This year has been so strange for me because Una Spa was a huge part of my life up until September 2018. I used to go to the gym and swim every day until I moved. I haven’t joined the leisure centre here because the nearest one has bad reviews and at least I could walk to Una.

I started running but due to the return of the typical cornish wind and rain, I have failed to keep up.

In the summer I purchased a yoga DVD and started this but due to lack of space in my new bedroom, I’ve also stopped doing this and I’ve read that Yoga is good for anger and mental health.

Earlier this year, I was full of ideas for achievements in 2019, however, my depression and manic state have been all over the place and I’ve not been feeling motivated.

I’m also feeling the pinch money-wise which is something I’ve never experienced before, so it’s time for me to start achieving again.

I hope to end the year on a high by taking my Muay Thai grading and taking part in Blogmas and posting some videos again. I’ve not been feeling great about my appearance so I stopped making videos.

On a positive note, I have recently been reviewing Amazon items which I will continue to do with fitness and health reviews being posted on this blog, and tech and music items will be reviewed on www.digitalclassic.co.uk

If you have any suggestions on what you would like us to post or review please comment below or on our social media channels or send an email to admin@looneychickblog.co.uk.

I’ve been up and down the last couple of weeks due to a family bereavement and dealing with life as sadly; my granddad passed away.

I’m not good with change, and I’m still trying to settle in and adjust to being in a new area after undergoing a dramatic life change.

I’m miles away from the spa I once attended daily, HIIT classes which I attended twice a week, the club where I do Muay Thai, and from my mates.

A few weeks ago, I decided to take my mate to The thermal Bath Spa which was random and exciting.

I purchased the tickets before Christmas for both our birthdays as her birthday was just before Christmas and mine were three weeks after.

So we decided to go as her son was away and we both needed to get away.

After the spa week, I felt tired and ill so took a whole week of Muay Thai training but felt extremely low and it’s been hard on my fitness going back.

I’ve also been running for the first time since last summer.

I’m getting used to running in a new area and have started running a few miles and walking a few to try and boost my metabolism.

This week has been extra hard as not only have I returned to Muay Thai, I’m also coming to terms with a family bereavement.

The shock of my grandad’s death has been so weird. Yes, he was 91 and if someone else tells me “It was a good age” I swear I could swing for them!

He wasn’t even very nice most of the time, and he would call people names, but I remember when he was kind and that was back when Gran was alive.

Gran kept him at bay and kept the family together. Sadly, when she passed almost 10-years ago, my Grandad was horrible to most of the family.

I remember when we used to go on trips in his VW Camper Van to Godrevy or Perranporth beach, and he would get ice cream from the Ice Cream van and get his binoculars and look out to sea.

Or we would go for a picnic on Perranporth beach and make cups of tea in the van.

I’ve also been reminiscing about the time he took me to my first ever football match, Reading Vs Windsor-Eton.

He took two of my younger cousins and me to a nearby game.

He once had the opportunity to enter his van into a car competition in Wadebridge.

Still, he didn’t think he would win, so he didn’t bother, but I remember how proud he was to have the opportunity to enter the show and enjoy socialising in the sunshine wearing his VW cap.

RIP Grandad!

On Friday, I attended an assessment with the CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) at Bolitho House in Penzance.

I had a person taking notes as well as a psychiatrist.

They asked me questions about my mood and have asked me to keep a mood diary and said they will see me again in 8-10 weeks.

I’ve been waiting over a year for this appointment and after lots of trips to the GP, I finally was given an appointment.

As for a diagnosis they are still trying to decide if I have Borderline Personality Disorder or Bipolar 2.

There’s a possibility I could have both due to the fact that the two are similar and I show traits for both.

The only bad thing is that if I have a personality disorder it’s not recognised as a mental illness and makes me sound like an unstable, bad person.

Also, medication isn’t likely to work on someone with a personality disorder it’s all about therapy.

If I have bipolar, I’m terrified of going on mood tablets because they can cause weight gain and I have worked so hard to lose weight.

So I have to probably wait months until the so-called experts at Bolitho House can see me again.

I gained weight after my back was injured during an assault, due to lack of mobility and not being able to move let alone exercise.

I’m still trying to lose more weight as I type this blog post.

My parents have sold the house I grew up in and although there have mostly been bad memories over the past couple of years.

It’s not easy for someone with a mental health disorder to change and go to an unfamiliar area.

Yes, I’ve travelled, but I’ve always come back to St Ives and love it or hate it, I’ve spent a long time here and in that house.

My parents and I haven’t been getting on that well recently, and I’m worried that I will end up a recluse if I move in with them.

In the past year, I’ve joined the leisure centre which is a 10 minute walk away from my house and made a friend who lives about 5 minutes away from me.

I’ve also started kickboxing which is great for my mental health.

I’m sure I will work something out. I have to and only have 4 weeks left.

Tomorrow I’m setting off to see Pearl Jam at the 02 Arena in London after it was cancelled last month.

My niece’s Infant school leaving assembly is on Wednesday afternoon so I will be attending that.

I’m getting back on track after temporarily losing the momentum and interest in my blogs, social media, and fitness.

I’ve been taking my eye off the ball because of things that have been happening in my life that I can’t control including the possibility of becoming homeless.

Uncertain future

I feel like a failure because I can’t afford a place of my own to live in let alone being able to buy my parent’s place as a holiday home.

I can’t even afford to rent a place.

For years, I’ve wanted to move away from Cornwall, but I’m not even moving away from Cornwall

In the last 12 months I’ve started going to fitness classes again, joined the gym, swim every day and I’ve made some associates there.

Even though some of them aren’t proper friends, at least I have conversations with people outside my house.

Working on my own can be difficult because I can spend days locked away not seeing anyone.

I went to the doctors at the beginning of the month and they told me that they were getting back in touch with the mental health team.

Surprise, surprise like anything with the CMHT I’m still waiting.

They want to confirm a diagnosis of Bipolar before changing my medication.

I’ve been working hard at the gym and I’ve just started to go back to classes after a month off, but my house has been so chaotic.

My mum has also just come out of hospital from having a hip replacement.

Which means I will probably have less time to get back into my work and fitness as I will have to help out with cleaning, washing, and shopping.

Shopping and a busy month

I’ve purchased a few new goodies this month including 8kg dumbbells, a waist trimmer, and a Nirvana t-shirt from Amazon, two tops, and scarfs in the sale from Fat Face, and a Jean dress from New Look.

In June I’m looking forward to watching Ed Sheeran at Wembley Stadium on the 17th and Pearl Jam at the O2 Arena on the 19th.

I’m away on Father’s Day so I will have to make sure that I get Dad a nice present. Not sure what to get him yet.

I’m going back to Cornwall tonight, for two days of rest, I hope to catch up with my fitness and batter the hell out of my body and get a couple of blog posts and a video up and running.

I have to come back to Exeter for my niece’s ballet show on Saturday and I will return to Cornwall again on Sunday and make a plan so I’m more organised over the next few weeks.

Hopefully I will be back on track with plans soon.

I visited a GP a few days ago because something isn’t right with my mental health and I’ve started experiencing both paranoia and mania.

When I arrived, she told me that she would send another letter to the mental health team and that unless it was a crisis and I got sectioned, I would not be seen for a while because they don’t have enough staff to cope with the number of people suffering from mental health.

The GP also told me that she wouldn’t feel comfortable changing my medication as she thought I would need a mood stabiliser.

Here are some of the symptoms I’ve been experiencing:

Extreme paranoia
I’ve been experiencing terrible paranoia and mania and thoughts such as Am I being used?

Do they like others better than me?

Why am I the only one no one stands by? I start to overthink, and that is never a good thing.

Coming down
I feel like I’m coming down and getting a bit low.

Last weekend I felt like I had been hit physically and mentally.

Playing football has helped me put to use my energy in a positive way.

Doing random things
I suddenly have these urges to book random things and go on spontaneous trips.

Don’t ask me why?

I can’t tell you the answer only “Because I can”.

It’s like I’m living a dream because I can’t and don’t want to deal with real-life right now.

Unable to focus properly
I’ve neglected my work recently, and I’m just getting back on top of it.

I could do with a break or a holiday, but it’s not possible at the moment because I’m going through some challenging stuff, which I will reveal on the blog once everything is complete.

Flights of ideas
My head is currently full of ideas, some realistic and some a little wacky and out there.

By ideas, I mean so many that I can’t type that fast and I’m overthinking and analysing everything.

Insomnia
I can’t sleep; my head is full of random things, and I often wake at silly times of the morning.

Excess exercise and energy
I have so much energy, which is why I swim and go to the gym almost daily.

Playing football in the park for an hour helps me to burn off enegy as well as drive down the calories.

I’m someone who needs lots more exercise than most average people to wear me down.

Nightmares and voices
According to my parents, I scream and shout in my sleep, and I see and hear things that no one else hears.

Overspending
I’ve been on a spending spree this month, and we are only into the 4th day. I decided to go shopping randomly, and I have a ton of things in my Amazon basket that I’ve been itching to buy for my future podcasts and music demos.

If you or someone or someone you know is suffering from the same symptoms, please comment below or on our social media channels.

I’ve been struggling with my mental health again, and I’m fed up with being used and abused for money or being there for someone when they have no one else.

Who’s there for me?

And why does it always happen to me?

Last week there was a mix up over a night out.

I was looking forward to a night out and even ordered some new tops from Boohoo.

A mate asked me to hang out with them and go to a few bars for a couple of drinks.

I had to pick up my car, so I told them that I would be out as soon as I got back.

When I arrived back home, I received a text message saying that they didn’t have any money and couldn’t do tonight.

Then I received another text message saying that they were in town with another mate getting free drinks.

Am I unreasonable to think that they could have invited me to join them?

I called that person and texted them, but they never answered.

I’ve been struggling with my mental health recently, and I thought I was getting back on track only to be almost caught out by another person who I’m told is using me for money and convenience.

They did, however, text me the next morning to say that they were sorry and would like to make it up to me.

Now I’m paranoid it’s another lie or sweetener so that they can carry on treating me like dirt.

I’m not a great judge of character when it comes to friendships; I always pick the ones who get drunk and start chatting up the men for free drinks and going off and ignoring me.

However, I’m too nice to not be friends with someone just because of gossip. I like to see the person with my own eyes.

Should I give them another chance?

I’ve also been struggling with my mental health, and I have this urge to spend big and go on another drinking spree.

I know that what I’m about to say may sound a little bit strange, but I’ve been suffering from nightmares that I don’t remember having.

Since 2014 my parents have told me that I’m frequently suffering from nightmares, and when I’m asked about why I’m shouting in my sleep.

I can never remember why.

At first, they thought it was linked to the antidepressant called Prozac which I was taking; however, I have been taking Venlafaxine and Amitryptilin since May 2015, and I’m still shouting in my sleep.

Then we thought it was to do with certain times of the month and have since found out that it isn’t that either.

I tend to shout in my sleep whenever I have appointments coming up, such as the doctors or any event where I have to leave the house.

I try and stay awake as late as possible; sometimes, I even tweet in my sleep as I‘m afraid of losing followers because my dream is to be a social media influencer.

I hate sleeping because I get nightmares, but I have no idea what the nightmares are about, it’s like something is freezing them after I’ve had them.

Why is this happening to me? Am I crazy? It’s not something I can talk about because people will think I’m weirder than they already do and it’s not the norm to have nightmares, especially ones you can’t remember having.

I’m also half awake when having them, according to my mum, she said that I went to shout something out and she called me, and I answered her usually, despite being asleep.

I’ve been told that most of the time I’m shouting “No”, so I’m guessing the nightmares are something I’m either afraid of or I’m arguing about something that I disagree with.

If you or one of your loved ones is suffering from nightmares, especially nightmares they don’t remember, encourage them to talk to a doctor or Psychologist.

You can comment in the section below or chat with us on our social media channels or call one of our helpline numbers for advice.

Something doesn’t feel right!

My mind is buzzing full of ideas, and there isn’t enough time to get them out, I want something good to come and take off and take me away from all this.

It’s not happening fast enough, I need the blogs to take off, posts to go viral, and I need equipment so that I can start my Podcast. I need YouTube subscribers. I need a bikini body, more social media followers, more things to review on my blog, and a holiday.

I’ve been feeling a bit strange for almost two weeks, and I can’t explain it, it’s like I’m crashing.

I’ve been suffering from pain in the throat and fatigue with hot and cold sweats. Mood wise I’ve been irritable and impatient.

I haven’t been to the gym much since last Tuesday, as I missed Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday due to the snow and not feeling well.

I went back to the gym on Sunday, but I struggled with cardio, I didn’t go to the gym yesterday, but I went swimming.

Today I managed a HIIT session, and I ran a mile on the treadmill, but I was extremely slow.

I’m a little annoyed because I was supposed to be going to see my family with mum, but due to the snow and mum not feeling up to it our trip was cancelled again.

Mum isn’t off until June, so we now have to wait to see if she is well enough to travel in 3 months.

By then, she should have had her stent changed and maybe even her hip. I hope the hip operation doesn’t fall too close to the Ed Sheeran concert at Wembley on June 17th.

My uncle has stage three bladder cancer, and we are hoping that his chemo treatment will be over when we see him next.

He also has to have radiotherapy, which sounds a little scary.

Tomorrow would have been Gran’s 95th birthday, and I bought a chime for the grave.

This Sunday is also Mother’s Day, but Mum has to work as she couldn’t get the day off.

I remember March 2009, when mum and I spent the day before Mother’s Day with Gran, and we watched Ireland win the Six Nations grand slam.

We went home on Mothering Sunday that year, and it was also the last Mother’s Day gran ever had.

If you are experiencing similar symptoms and your mind is buzzing too fast, comment in the section below or join us for a chat on our social media channels.

I’ve been keeping myself to myself, but I’ve also been talking to lots of people lately, and I’m unsure when I should be trusting people with my mental health.

I’ve been burnt badly in the past with people using me for money, gifts, and lifts and for someone to hang out with when they aren’t getting on with their partners.

One minute I’m the centre of attention and everyone looks up to me, the next I’m enemy number one.

I don’t have trouble making friends; it’s keeping them.

Some people have gone cold on me without reason, they just stopped contacting me and ignoring me when I’m not sure what I have done wrong?

I have terrible paranoia, and I hate being in crowded places unless I’ve had a few drinks to get me in the party mood.

One of the main reasons I became self-employed is because I can’t work with people as they tend to go off me after a while.

I usually say or do something that most of us would say is crazy, extreme, insane, or just wrong.

My moods are generally high or low, although sometimes I can appear stable, and my work and ideas can range from good to bad depending on my moods.

I have been told that I might have Bipolar 2, although this hasn’t officially been diagnosed.

At the moment I have an incorrect diagnosis, I don’t even know what my mental health illness is?

I’ve made friends with people whose husbands and children have taken an instant dislike to me, and at my age, most people have husbands, boyfriends, best friends, and children.

They will probably think I’m a bit strange and I can’t tell them the reasons why I don’t have those commitments.

If they find out about my shady past, they definitely will think I’m weird, and I’m torn between pushing people away and letting them in?

I wouldn’t say I like the way I look, I hate my figure, and I usually confine myself to my bedroom or the gym nowadays.

I’m not good at judging people, so it’s easy to use and abuse me, and I’m worried people will find out about my mental health and stop wanting to hang out with me.

Or they might only be hanging out with me for lifts to and from places or some other sinister reason?

Does anyone have any advice on when I should be trusting people with my mental health issues?

Please comment below or start a conversation over on our social media channels.