Last weekend I had the pleasure of turning 34, and I’m still stuck a rollercoaster which won’t let me jump off anytime soon.
I spent the week at my sisters and my mum joined us for my birthday last Friday for the weekend. I had a quiet birthday, in comparison to other years. We stayed in most of the day and we had a chinese takeaway and chocolate cake in the evening.
Unfortunately, my mum wasn’t feeling well after eating the chinese so we didn’t do much for the rest of the weekend. She had a scan before coming up and the dye went straight through her arm instead of the vain, so she has to return to the hospital for another scan next week.
I’ve started the New Year still on probabtion and obsessed and determined to kill all the demons from the past and make things ok. I still hate the police and my so called ex friends who got me into trouble instead of trying to help me. No matter how hard I try to forgive them, I just can’t. Grassing someone up has always been a code of mine that you must never do no matter how hard or screwed up life is.
I will never forgive the police because government instituations are corrupt. These people have too much power and unless you are rich you can never beat them!
I’m also waiting to see if my Employment Support Allowance will stay the same and I have deffered my masters degree due to lack of funding.
I have big plans and lots of them and some people might say that I’m dreaming or being unrealistic. I would rather be a someone earning a good wage instead of a benefit freak who hardly leaves the house and never has any fun or money.
I purchased a scooter for myself and despite the fact that I have only used it once, I’m hoping that when the weather gets better I can go out with the kids and play on it. My mum wasn’t happy that I brought a scooter.However, I only brought a cheap one for now to see how I get on and I’m not sure that my mountain bike can be saved because its gone rusty.
I have seen a mountain bike that I would like and I really want to start mountain biking again because I lost lots of weight and I felt much fitter and healthier last time.
At the moment I’m feeling unfit and I’m not happy with my weight, so I’m wearing baggy clothes. Since my back was injured I’ve put on weight and I’ve not done much exercise for a while.
My spending spree has got a little bit out of hand, yet again this month and my mum has told me not to buy anything else. I still have a list of things I want, but I’m going to have to wait a while because my car tax is up next month and the month after is my MOT and car service then the month after that is my newphews birthday and Easter and my car insurance is up then (perfect timing).
Swimming is another favourite hobby of mine which I started last year and I hope when my mum gets better we will continue to go.
At the moment the weather is pretty grim and I have no plans to go on any trips and I have no holidays booked. Turning 34 really sounds like fun doesn’t it. I have achieved one thing this year, I have almost completed my Diploma in Viral Marketing with online educators, Shaw Academy. You can join Shaw Academy this month and receive a 30 day trial on a course of your choice.
When I was younger I thought that turning 34 would be so different. I automatically thought that I would be married with kids and have a really well paid job, car, home and a really good group of friends because that’s what every normal person does righ? Or so I was led to believe, I never thought that life would be this harsh and I would be on the outside looking in. Sometimes I am sad and angry when I hear that so many people from school have their marriage, kids, jobs, friends and holidays. Why can’t I have this? When can I get off the rollercoaster?