I’m starting to feel the Blogmas blues!

Bah Humbug black sweatshirt

I’m not sure what’s happening to me, but I don’t like whatever it is, and I’m starting to feel the Blogmas blues and its only December 12th. 

We are already into the 12 days of Blogmas which means, I only have another 24 blog posts to write.

I’ve been writing two posts a day for both my blogs and I have been trying to do some work for a company. No matter how hard I try, I’m starting to feel tired, not very festive, as irritability creeps back in, my mind never stops racing and my tired body is unable to keep up, feeding me voices telling me depressive thoughts. 

It hasn’t been a good week. I had a letter about my back injury which isn’t good and another Employment Support form to fill out. Just what I needed, a nice early Christmas present. I hate forms; they stress me out. I can’t stand questions, questions, questions? Ahhh! WTF

Last Thursday my mum was rushed into hospital because her kidney was failing to work and she had to have a stent put in. For some reason, time just fell away from me, and I have somehow ended up working from 8.30am until after midnight. Maybe it was all those phone calls I kept receiving?

I’m usually more active than this, and I’m getting really annoyed with myself!

I haven’t seen my sister and the kids for three weeks, so I haven’t had a Christmas fun. I have seen my friend, Stef, briefly for a hot chocolate and a quick look around town last week, however, we haven’t had a chance to go Christmas shopping because she was called back to work a week early due to staff shortages.

Today, I noticed an important message from last Thursday which I somehow managed to miss; this makes me look unprofessional and sloppy! In light of this and other things, I have decided to defer my masters in Mobile App Development until next September. I had been offered a place on the course in January. However, I’m not ready, and I’m so annoyed with myself because it’s been almost three years since I first became ill again and I’m still not back to any normality. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.

I turn 34 next month, and I have no job, hardly any friends, no home(I live with my parents) and barely a penny to my name and to top it all of I’m still shouting in my sleep and having nightmares!(Another reason for not wanting to fall asleep).

I’m working and sleeping in my office because my mattress for my new bed has been delayed and hasn’t arrived yet.

I thought by now I would be on my way to fame. I never realised how hard Blogmas would be either and I had hoped that my six-month blog would be making money and attracting brands by now.

Do you have the Blogmas blues? Please comment below or tweet @AdminChick and let me know how you are feeling if you are a blogger taking part in Blogmas or a reader, who is feeling a bit fed up.

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